Monday, October 25, 2004


November 20, 1976 - Paul Simon catches a glimpse of his bald spot on a studio monitor and abruptly aborts "Still Crazy After All These Years," going on a violent rampage with his acoustic guitar and a sharpened tuning fork, mortally wounding two stagehands and severely impairing Chevy Chase's ability to make people laugh. Livid, producer Lorne Michaels punishes Simon by banning him from performing on the show for six days.

October 20, 1979 - Bob Dylan surprises fans by converting to Islam, then Hinduism, then Zoroastranism, then briefly becoming a Druid before re-converting back to Christianity during his performance of "Gotta Serve Somebody." He's said to have changed the lyrics as he went to reflect each conversion, but no one's quite sure.

December 7, 1985 - An uproar arises when it's discovered that Mr. Mister does not actually perform, NBC having outsourced their slot to a less-expensive group of migrant musicians, Señor Señor. Reps for SNL promise that the real band would perform the following week.

December 14, 1985 - An uproar arises when it's discovered that Mr. Mister actually performs.

May 13, 1989 - Fine Young Cannibals eat three babies during the bridge of "She Drives Me Crazy." Attentive viewers will notice a marked change in tempo.

February 18, 1995 - Hootie blows a fish.

November 8, 2003 - Sinead O'Connor climaxes her powerful a capella rendition of the Coasters' "Get a Job" by dramatically ripping up pictures of Pope Innocent VII, Alexander Pope, Ron Popeil and Po from Teletubbies. Despite the provocation, the incident results in no calls or letters of complaint, mostly because the Saturday Night Live she's performing on is taking place in her attic for an estimated worldwide audience of her three cats. Cast members Gail Matthius, Tim Kazurinsky, Rich & Anthony Michael Hall, Morwenna Banks, Dean Edwards and Beth Cahill resign in protest. Joe Piscopo offers to stay.


Anonymous said...

This sucked

William said...

Well, geez, where were you seven years ago when I could have used your cogent critique?